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Humour.

1.Santa falls in love with a nurse. After much

thinking, he finally writes a  love-letter to her

saying,”I love you sister”.

2. I would love to take U out 4 dinner, make U

sit beside the candle light, shower U with roses

and utter those 3 magical words in UR ear–”PAY

THE BILL”.

3.Q:What’s the difference between government bonds

and men?

A:Bonds mature.

4.Man did not discover the mosquitoes. The mosquito

discovered man.

5.If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

6.If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t

people from  Holland called Holes?

7. Joke about second marriage–

The wife rushes to the hubby and says,”Your kids

and my kids are beating our kids.”

8.Q: How do radios greet each other?

A:”With airwaves”

9.Q: If hell is where you have taxes and returns, how

will the heaven be like? Full of deductions?

Ans:No, only refunds?

10.Sign outside the National Rail Museum, New Delhi:

”Only steam engines allowed to smoke.”

11.Taxi driver:”I used to be a taxman earlier.”

Passenger:”Which means you were a hangman before that!”

12. Whatzit?

GOOD…BETTER…

Ans:The best is yet to come.

13. An English Professor wrote the words:”A woman without

her man is nothing.” on the chalkboard and asked his students

to punctuate it correctly.All the males in the class wrote:”A woman,

without her man, is nothing.” All the females in the class wrote:

”A woman: without her man is nothing.”

It’s all in the punctuation.

14.A father rebuked his son, who was watching T.V.,:”When Abraham

Lincoln was of your age, he was studying by the light of fireplace.”

The son replied,When Lincoln was of your age, he was President

of America.”

15.Politician:One who shakes your hand before elections and your

confidence after.

Doctor:A person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with his bills.

Father:A banker provided by nature.

Miser:A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Boss:Someone who is early when you are late and late

when you are early.

16.If you don’t love a girl, you loss something; If you love a girl,

you loss everything.

17. Always use tasteful words.You may have to eat them.

18.A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

19.I only go to work on days that don’t end with a ”y”.(T-Shirt quote)

20. Research is what I am doing, when I don’t know what

I am doing.(T shirt quote)

Source:Collection.

 

 

 

 

 

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